When Micah was sick and receiving chemo, the medical staff offered him a wide variety of options to try to help with his nausea, including essential oils. He usually declined, however, in the last week or two of his life, they tried lavender and, for a short period of time, he just couldn’t get enough of it. We would put some on a washcloth and he would hold it right by his nose and breathe in deeply. For some reason, that seemed to help him in his final days. At one point, when he had a high fever, they even added it to a basin of cool water so when we put cool washcloths on him, the scent would be there too. I began to love the smell of lavender because it reminded me of Micah.
A little over a month after Micah died, I was shopping with my cousin in a cute little shop when I saw this bar of lavender soap. My mind immediately went to Micah and the memories of his time in the hospital. I bought it on the spot, knowing it would be a little reminder of him. Every time I used it, the scent took me back to Micah and his last days and actually, in a strange way, provided a little comfort.
One day, after being gone all day for a college visit with Annika, we came home and this is what I saw on the bar of soap. I clearly saw a heart, which I like to think was a sign from Micah. I know that not everyone believes in “signs” but to me, it was a sign of Micah’s love for us. A sign that he was ok. That he was still with us in spirit. Love knows no boundaries.
Grieving Mama 