Throughout his life, Micah was typically a pretty affectionate kid. Whether he was giving someone a “friendly” pat on the head, sticking up for the underdog, or giving one of his sweet hugs, he found different ways to show he cared. My mom still talks about what a great hugger he was and how she misses his hugs. What I wouldn’t give for another hug from him right now!
From when he was young, until the very end, he was always good for a hug, whether you thought you needed one or not. Even as a teenager, when many kids are embarrassed to just be seen with their parents, he seemed to have no qualms about showing his affection. He’d ride to school with me most days and as we would go our separate ways, with him crossing the parking lot to the middle school and me heading off to the elementary school, he’d usually give me a big hug and even an occasional peck on the cheek as we parted. It didn’t seem to matter to him if others were watching.
It wasn’t always a hug, though. When Micah was young, I’d occasionally find little notes on my pillow or bedside table. Sometimes it was a simple message saying that he hoped I’d had a good day. Other times it was a request to read another chapter of Harry Potter together before heading off to bed. Most often though, it was a short note comprised of just three symbols: a rough drawing of an eye, followed by a heart and the letter “U”, his typical way of writing “I love you”. I miss the days of finding those notes and treasure the ones that I saved from when he was young.
Sometimes, Micah put his love into action. I have a vivid memory of waking up one night, in what felt like the middle of the night, to find him standing by the side of my bed. I immediately asked him what was wrong and his response was simply, “Come on, Mom, I have to show you something!” Thinking that something must be terribly wrong, I got out of bed and followed him downstairs where he led me to the kitchen. When we arrived, I looked at him and his face was beaming with pride. When I had gone to bed that night, the kitchen had been in disarray, with dirty dishes in the sink and clutter strewn about, which I hate to admit wasn’t a rare thing for me. He told me that he hadn’t been able to fall asleep that night, so while the rest of us were in bed sleeping, he decided to clean the kitchen; washing the dishes, clearing the clutter and even sweeping and mopping the floor. Even though I knew he should have been sleeping, I have to admit how much that meant to me. Seeing the way he was radiating his love for me through his actions melted my heart. It’s a gesture that I will always remember.
Towards the end of his life and after his death, several of Micah’s friends shared stories of things that he had done that had made them feel special. To Micah, they may have seemed like little things but apparently, his actions had been meaningful to them. Whether it was standing up to someone to protect a friend or simply taking the time to ask someone about their summer, his actions had made an impact on them.
It was two years ago today that we celebrated Micah’s short life with family and friends as we said good-bye and buried our sweet boy. As I look back on those days surrounding his death and funeral, I think about the many ways that we were shown love by others as they shared their condolences through hugs, words of comfort, and kind gestures. It reminded me of the ways that Micah showed his love for others. When I think about our world today, it seems like we could all use a little more love. As people are isolated from others due to COVID and the need for social distancing, we may not be able to share as many hugs with others but maybe some little gesture like reaching out with a phone call, letter, or some other small act of kindness is what someone needs to know that they are loved.
Grieving Mama 